Voices – Page 39
Dinner was ravioli, cooked by John and shared between him and Jen. Brian had left them to meet with Susannah, after running out to buy clothes with Jen, and then returning to borrow John’s shower. Before he left, they had made plans to meet in the subway the next day.
John wasn’t a gourmet chef, he said, but he could handle boiling pasta and warming up bottled sauce. Jen, who for the last four years had subsisted mainly on cigarettes, bourbon, and that which could be found in the trash, was certain it would be fine.
They ate sitting out on his fire escape, not talking much, listening to the sounds of New York. When they were done, Jen leaned back against the railings, stretched, lit a cigarette, and said, “So you want us to be superheroes.”
“I don’t know if I’d go that far. He’s got a goofy name, but I’m sure Dr. Jackal’s just some guy. He’s not Lex Luthor.”
“Who?”
“The bad guy from Superman. Gene Hackman? Fuck it, never mind.” John waved it away.
Jen laughed. “Okay. I get the idea, and you’re right, but still… I was thinking maybe helping children, or something, not fighting bad guys.”
“How is Brian going to help children?”
Jen thought this over. “Overcoming their fear of werewolves?” she asked at last.
John laughed, lit a cigarette, looked out at the city. He was sitting on the steps, a few feet off the floor of the fire escape.
“You okay?” he asked after a while.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean in general. You’ve been kind of distant, compared to last night, and we never did talk about how you feel about what happened with those guys in the subway.”
Jen sighed. “Sorry if I seem distant. I’m… this is new for me, John.”
“I know. I’m not pushing. I just want to be sure you’re all right.”
“I am. I was so happy to see you that I got a little ahead of myself. Not that I regret it.” She smiled up at him, “But fair warning: I’m probably going to bounce back and forth a bit. It all comes in waves. Some days are better than others. Some hours are better than others.”
“Okay. Do what you need to do, Jen.”
Jen nodded. Doing what she needed to do was her exact intent.
“You said we’d talk about the guys…” John prompted. “Is it too soon?”
Jen shook her head. “No, it’s fine. Look, that’s… it wasn’t fun, but honestly I was more angry than anything else. I didn’t want to have to kill more people. I wasn’t afraid of being raped because that motherfucker never had a chance of that.”
John nodded. Jen looked over at him. “I won’t kill this guy, John. This Dr. Jackal. I want you to know that up front, so you’re not expecting it when the time comes. I’m never killing anyone, ever again. Not now that I know I can control myself.”
“Good. I don’t want you to, and I don’t want Brian to, and I don’t want me to either. I don’t think we need to kill him. I want to catch him, stop him, and then give him to the cops.”
“Okay.”
Jen pitched her cigarette over the balcony, got up, and sat down next to John. She wrapped her arms around him, kissed him on the neck, below the ear, and rested her head on his shoulder.
“What was that for?” John asked. He turned slightly so that Jen could better lean against him, then added, “Not that I’m complaining.”
Jen smiled. “Just doing what I need to do,” she said.
