Persephone’s Fall – Page 37
Hades sighs. “I know, Seph. I’m sorry. Like I said, it’s been a rough couple of weeks. Don’t worry about it, okay?”
“If you tell me what’s wrong, I won’t have to worry about it anymore.”
“It’s nothing, Seph. Pre-wedding jitters. But I’ll make you a deal. Stop thinking about it, and I promise I’ll tell you some time after we’re married. I don’t know when, for sure, but I promise that I’ll explain everything.”
“Hades, you can’t tell me it’s nothing and then promise to explain it later. That’s a contradiction.”
“Life is full of contradictions” Hades says in a far away, how-zen-I-am voice, and then turns to look at me. He smiles. “It’s okay, Seph. Really.”
But it’s not okay. Hades has never held anything back from me in his life. It makes me a little angry, but more than that, it makes me nervous. Has so much changed? My whole life, Hades has been the guy I could tell my secrets, and the guy who would tell me his. I know things about Hades that you’re just not supposed to know about other people. I know that his secret dream is to start a politics-based website that helps to elect in officials who actually give a shit about the American public. I know that a girlfriend once asked him to tie her to his bed. I know that he writes poetry, even though he knows it’s bad. I know everything about Hades.
But I don’t know what’s bothering him now. And he’s not going to tell me.
I wonder if that’s the best way to start a marriage. Hades has spent his whole life telling me the things you tell no one else, back when there was nothing between us and seemingly no chance of that changing. Now we’re getting married. In two weeks I will go to bed with this man and share myself with him; the most open act I could possibly commit with him. Yet now he’s holding back, and if I push, it’s only going to make things worse.
“Okay, Hades. I’ll leave it alone. I’m sorry we’ve reached a point where you can’t tell me things.”
Hades says nothing, but when I look over at him, he shifts his gaze away, not wanting to meet my eyes.
