Persephone’s Fall – Page 28
When I look into the mirror the first thing that runs through my mind is to wonder what happened to the sixteen year old Seph.
The drunk girl who took a boy to bed with her for the first time on her sixteenth birthday is staring back at me, all dressed up in virginal white and wondering where all that time went. I’ve changed so much, and I haven’t changed at all. I’m not sure which is worse.
That was a decade ago. Ten long years, and I can’t remember all that much, really, that happened. Certainly if you combined all the memories, they wouldn’t amount to more than a year’s worth. It seems like every year before that is something almost tangible. So many firsts. Maybe being an adult is when you run out of firsts, and all of the years start to grey together.
Is this what every bride sees when she stands in front of the mirror in her wedding gown? Does it matter whether she’s happy or sad, excited or scared? I’ve prepared my whole life for this day, even though I never thought I wanted it.
Is this what every bride sees? I can find every iteration of the person I have been, pooled in this reflection of the light in my eyes.
I want to twirl around and laugh out loud like a princess. I want to scream and put my fist into the mirror and make those awful eyes go away. There’s something here, fighting inside of me, and it hurts so fucking much I’m afraid my knees will unhinge. It’s a white-hot spike in my chest. Is this what every bride sees? Why can’t I look away?
Hades steps up behind me, and looks into the mirror, looks into my eyes there. “You’re beautiful,” He says, and puts a hand on my shoulder.
The sixteen year old in the mirror starts crying.
