I’m Addicted to HGTV.
by chris ~ January 22nd, 2009. Filed under: Misc Rambling.
Between the post about not having played Portal (which I’ve since rectified) and this post, I’m beginning to think that I should have a “shameful secrets” section on this blog. I mean, let’s be honest here … this is a pretty absurd admission. I barely even watch television, normally — an occasional “Iron Chef” or “Daily Show”, sure, but nothing regularly — and yet here I am, finding myself sitting in front of the idiot box, staring slack-jawed with wonder as I plow through my fourth hour of watching some random set of jackasses look over random properties in a random city.
Yes, I’m addicted to HGTV.
“MY GOD!” I scream at my wife. “Do you know how much that would COST in Brooklyn?”
“Yes,” She answers. “Yes I do.”
“Why don’t we live in Decatur?!?”
“Because Georgia isn’t Brooklyn?”
“Oh … yeah.”
And when it’s not “House Hunters” or “Property Virgins” or “That guy in the black turtleneck who isn’t actually a part of the show except he shows up at the beginning and looks smug,” then it’s the do-it-yourself shows, which are even more compelling. I mean, some of them are asinine, like the one where they paint stuff — hey, newsflash, if you paint your friggin house it looks better than leaving all the walls white!
But “Income Property,” for example? Holy crap. I’m now convinced that my wife and I should buy a 17-floor mansion … and live in a tiny room in the basement. Just think about how much money we’d be saving on our mortgage by renting out the rest!
It’s terrible. It’s terrifying. It’s … some “T” word that means “insane!”
I’d go on … but “House Hunters International” is on, and I need to see which house the Spanish lady with the annoying voice chose!
