CerebralDebris

I have a shocking confession to make, or at least … shocking to people who play video games, which I suspect is the vast majority of this site’s small audience: I have yet to play Portal.

I know, I know … many people consider it to be 2007′s Game of the Year and it’s received almost universal adoration from critics and fans alike. I am absolutely sure it’s a fantastic game, and I’m quite looking forward to playing it, but I haven’t yet. Why? Because I’m not paying $20 for three hours of game play. I don’t care if it’s the most scintillating three hours in the history of gaming, I’m not paying $20 for it.

Now, Half-Life 2: Episode 2 … that was worth $20, and I paid it gladly. I could have bought the Orange Box for $45, but I already own Half-Life 2 and Episode 1, and have absolutely no use for Team Fortress 2. I loved the original Team Fortress dearly, but competitive multiplayer is dead to me. I’m no longer interested in it as a gaming option, in any form. So TF2 is right out.  That means that I would’ve been paying $45 for … Episode 2 and Portal. Which is insane, since I could get the two of those for $40 individually and, as already explained, I think that’s too expensive.

So I am waiting patiently for the price of Portal to drop. When it does, I will reconsider. I think $13 sounds about right … that or lower, and I’ll buy it. Until then, I will wait, and endure the taunts of my friends who think I’m an idiot for not dropping the cash on it.

But wait … this isn’t even the stubborn jackassery part of the story! You see, several of my friends got so tired of me not having played Portal that they began threatening to buy it for me, on Steam. I explained to them that out of principle, if they did so, I still wouldn’t play it. This statement was met with incredulity (probably the correct response) and eventually my good friend Gabe, who is occasionally prone to making sudden spontaneous purchases, “gifted” me a copy of Portal.

THIS is the stubborn jackassery part. The copy of Portal is still sitting on my Steam account, unactivated and unplayed, two months later. Not only that, but when the price DOES drop, I’ll buy my own copy and play that. This, my friends, is how I operate. It’s crazy, but I can’t bring myself to play the gifted copy of the game after I made the statement, “if you buy it for me, I won’t play it.”

I may be an idiot, but I’ve got my integrity!